Dear Dave- LettersFromJohn
by PsybellaLoner-SenDivine
Summary: John, from the dead to the life, is a long way from home. and Though there is no address in the stars, he can only write and hope. That Life hasn;t forgotten him, or at least, the cool Kid he'd come to love rAted M for Later chapters of yaoi, character death or harm and sensitive topics]]
1. If I write, to you

' Dear Cool Kid,

Hey! I know... Creepy if you ever actually get this letter. Though I doubt the universe would allow this . There's no address in these clouds so I doubt I'll hear from you.

How are you?

I miss you... I really do.

I miss you, and Jake, and Dirk and Jade and dare I say. even CAL

Is there anything I can do to hear your voice there Best friend?

I'm gonna send all these letters to you... until I'm home back to you.

I'm sorry I was so naive. That stupid fight shouldn't have set me off, I'm sorry for yelling,I'm sorry for being annoying to you...

and I'm sorry you had to put up with me...

If I hadn't;t bolted, If I'd worn my glasses.

If that road had no cars on it...

Maybe I'd still be there with you. To make things better

~~~~~~~~~~~Letters~From~John~~~~~~~~~

~John Egbert

John Sat there on that cloud, running his hands along the 'floor'. His blue hood swaying back in the wind. His bright eyes staring down at the town and as the cities lights went out. He remained there, folding his letter up to perfection and placing it in the envelope. His eyes closing a little bit, he waited to sway on the clouds until he felt that breeze... The one that almost reminded him of home, and he let the letter sway down from his fingertips to the cities below, watching it until it whirled into nothing but air.

"I know It won't get to you Strider... But... A guy can dream can't he?" He sighed.

Closing his eyes and laying there, staring at the higher clouds.

John... Poor John Egbert had fought with his best friend , Dave Strider... that night had been blurred all he remembered was seeing the car lights through the rain, the moment he;d set foot on the road...

Dave Strider.. Cool Kid, big front tough guy. Was sitting in the morgue, where they'd transferred the body of his nerdy best friend. The Younger Strider just was watching them clean and fresh the body and clothe it .

Emotionless. No tears, but no laughs... no smiles, but no frowns.

[[Short and Sweet but it will get better and longer~ :D]]


	2. Will you write, with hearts and stars?

'Dear Mrs. Egbert... we are sorry to inform you, there has been an accident~ Please Call 555-123-4567'

Thats the answering machine message that had broken a family. Bringing a mother to tears, a father to shame, and an older brother left wondering...

It was early that SAturday morning. John should have been returning from his undercover boyfriend's home. Or so they hoped. Breakfast on the table, mother at the counter, father reading at the table, and Jake coming down the stairs, Dirk strider not far behind.

After staying the night Strider was calm, just sitting there eating and talking with the family, every now and then glancing at the blank spaces where John normally came home at his arranged time, 9:30am. John was normally at the table, and eating. Dave normally not hungry and just sitting there next to him.

"I wonder where he is..." was staring out the window at the green fields, hoping her younger son was running home in them soon. Sighing unhappily when there was no sign of either of the boys. Now worrying the older brothers...

Jake stood up halfway through the morning meal, he went to call the Strider house and see if the boys had overslept, what he saw was a set of voicemails.  
Pressing 'play' they all waited as the voice of a sad man echoed through the room. The untimely message of an accident.

, frantic, ran for the phone, dialing the number ,

Getting a nurse from the local hospital with the heart wrenching messages.

'10:00pm Friday night, John Egbert was admitted for being hit by a car, and was under critical care.'

'Exactly Midnight Friday Night, SAturday morning. John Egbert passed away ... and had been sent to the local mourge...'

These messages sent tears down Mothers face and the phone for the floor, sobbing and frantic to get shoes and run for the car, everyone in tow. A mothers heart , nothing to mess with...

Dirk was not far behind, fearing not only for John, hoping the cruel words were a lie, but also fearing for his younger brother. ...


	3. Will you sign your name, a fancy way?

The death was easy to confirm, broken bones and a pulse rate had vanished, so much had happened.

They found Dave in the morgue, sitting in the front pew, just sitting there, he wasn't talking, he wasn't moving, easily mistaken for a statue unless you felt him breathe.

Dirk had let the family mourn, this wans;t fair to his little Bro either...  
He stepped into the church side of the mourgue, he stepped down the isleway as though approaching God...  
He sat there in the front row next to his brother, ignoring anything else, he sat there next to him, letting him stare at the statue of the angels on the alter. He took in the surroundings , and the sounds of the cries in the next room.

He took in the sounds of the candle lit flickers and the wood creaking .He finally reached out, wrapping an arm around the shoulders of his brother, pulling him against him and to his side, they remained frozen like that , not saying anything.

Soon enough Dirk felt the arms of the younger Strider wrap around his lanky form, and his hand felt the shaking of his brothers back, the heaving he was trying to hold back.

"No one's around"Dirk said softly... thats when it unleashed.  
A torrent of sobs, a flood of tears, the glasses slipped for the floor as he buried his head into the chest that held him close.

"Its my fault... its all my fucking fault.."The sobs were almost painful for someone like this narrator to hear, but Dirk didn;t say anything, only shaking his head in response to those words.

"not your fault lil'Bro... not your fault..."He thats all he felt was appropriate...

He wouldn't make him suffer alone, but he couldn't bring his brothers friend back. But he could be there for him, he couldn;t do much, but hoped it'd be enough...


	4. Will you come back to me tomorrow?

Silence...

Silence...

Then the sobbing...

Then the silence again...

Dirk had made him go home, finally after 2 hours of sitting there, letting the smaller Strider sob, he made him get up and go home.  
He had no idea what to say in this situation, Dirk simply just drove home and let his brother lay down in the backseat, he knew that finally Dave wasn't holding back emotion, but he was upset that it took such a tragic incident to make him do this. He couldn't look in the mirror, he couldn't see his brother like that...

Jake had asked if he could ride home with them, but Dirk denied him. He knew Jake had to be going through alot, but he knew that his little bro came first, before anyone.  
Dirk wanted nothing more than to sit there and hug his brother like he had in the pews. But driving them home and letting Dave have some alone time.

And thats what they did.

When Dirk pulled into the driveway, Dave was already out and walking up to their house , he opened the door they normally kept unlocked and headed straight up the stairs for his room, throwing open the door , slamming it shut and clicking the lock .He tossed his glasses onto the desk and dropped down onto his bed, he'd cried himself out, his eyes were dry and his heaving had subsided.

He clung to his pillow, burrying his face in it, He couldn't look at his room, Johns spare shirts, and clothes were all over the floor and in his closets and dressers, their photos were on his desk, his pillow smelled like him... god this wasn't fair... He couldn't escape the fimilarity.

This was so empty to him, this couldn't be happening. Last night had been normal, John had come over, Dirk had left them alone.

A normal night for them, they ate, played some video games, went upstairs and showered, and secluded themselves to Dave's room with the door locked.

He remembered John waiting for Dirk to leave, before he'ld already been on Dave, no not like humping him or anything like that, but the moment Dirk left his side of the couch had become vacant for Dave's lap, their video game controllers left their hands to be moved to eachother.

Yes.

Those years of corrupting John had work, John and him weren't hardcore, sex sex sex, had they had it? yes. But not power hungry lovers. Dave remembered their nights vividly, he they'd rolled all around the couch, calmed in the shower and went back to rolling around under the blankets, the kisses, the touches. Everything was so normal to him, then the fight happened.

_"C'mon John... Whats so wrong about it, just once,who's gonna look and care ?'_

'I'm not feeling up to it, I don't have to have a reason...'

'John! Whats wrong with you!? Your turning into a buzzkill everytime you come over!'

'Then I'll stop coming over , I don't feel like fighting right now, I'm going home...'

'Fine! go! See if I follow...'  
_**  
He had followed though, John had stormed out the door , but the moment Dave heard the rain and the thunder ... he was right out behind him, he'd seen John running further ahead of him, running across the long yard and for the streets.**_

He guessed he was gonna take the backways , which meant crossing the street and hitting the path through the doors...

All he did hit was the street.

Those lights weren't street lights, they were head lights...

Dave remembered the breaks squealing, he remembered when John screaming at the first impact, then the silence after the car kept driving, probably thinking it'd been an animal...

Dave headed straight for the road, trying to see, trying to see where John was, but he wasn't in the road anymore, he was laying right on the side, the streetlights only showed him the shadow, and he'd followed...

Dave was wallowing in the scent on his pillow, thinking he was dreaming, that this wasn't happening... He was gonna wake up, and John was gonna be curled up next to him... This wasn't fair.. this wasn't fair... but no matter what Dirk said...

This was His fault...

John wasn't coming home, because of him...

John wasn't coming back, because of him...

John wasn't calling or texting... and he wouldn't be.

Dave closed his eyes slowly, _'Just sleep...' _he thought.

Not wanting to see that John wouldn't be there when he woke up...


	5. Can We Relive Old Tales?

_"John... Johnnn... "~_

John looked up from his notebook, he'd been writing another letter ... He'd guessed they couldn't ever get to Dave. He wasn't getting his hopes up, he never knew what towns they were over...Just that when the wind took his letters, thats all he could do...

"What are you doing?~ "

"N-Nothing..."He mumbled, hiding his notebook under the blanket he was sitting on , "Just thinking..."He mumbled.

That voice... God he wished he knew who it was, it was a motherly tone. Making him even more homesick... It was just a guiding voice that echoed around, he didn't converse with the rest of the dead, he simply just stayed where he was... 24/7. ... Death, was boring ...

With Dave... sure he was nothing but caught up in trouble... Be it the time when they took Dirk's car when he came home drunk, and went joyriding... And ended up with the alcohol in the backseat... they'd hit the black back roads...

Lets tell this story... John just sat there, wishing he'd relive it...

**The moment they hit those roads, they'd pulled for the cornfields... driving right into them, and stopping it, turning out the lights. John had bitched the whole way, but was laughing by the time they'd even thought of heading home.**

Laying in the back of that truck, a beer in his hand, one next to him, clicking his bottle against Daves. Soon enough the clatter of it joining the rest in the field grass.

They'd watched the stars like that, Buzzed,

_**and alone...~**_

**No. We're not going to tell you a cheesy love admision.**

This isn't a Perfect world...

But that night had made their lives set in goals.

Dave had talked about his ex, John listened intently...

He remembered it so easily, Dave sat up, setting the beer bottles down.

He'd climbed out of the bed of the truck and had gone into the truck , grabbing the spare blanket out of the back seat, and popping in a CD. One of Jade's old CD's .

Simple Plan.

He didn't give a shit, he wanted music, he tossed the blanket up when he climbed back in the bed of the truck, dropping back down again.

They'd spent 2 hours laying there, until Dave had gone through 5 beers... and John was still buzzing off on 3.

"It feels like its been fucking forever since I've had anything ..."

That golden sentence had taken John over...

John remembered what he'd thought that night that single thought that later was one of their greatest memories .

_**'Make. A. Move...'**_

**The lights had interrupted him though, the moment he leaned over it was to see the flashing of lights getting closer..**

"FUCK!"

"Egbert when do you cus-"

"Get in the truck! Cops!"

"Your Fucking Kidding me!?"

It wasn't even seconds before they were tearing through the feild, a drunk kid driving, a buzzed kid in the passenger

'Perfect world' by Simple Plan was blaring out in the air, and it only had added to the dramatic time.  
_**  
~This means nothing at all~~**_

**John smirked a bit at the irony , what he'd planned on doing, would've meant everything, and sent them off the cliff.**

_**In a perfect world, this could never happen, in a perfect world~**_

**Dave had ;had to shake him from his moment.  
"Egbert! get the fuck out of the truck!"**

"What?!"

"We're running, lets go!"

Before he knew it Dave was hauling him over and out on his side, dragging him by his arm, they;d gotten as far as out of the corn field, they were bolting past the sign welcoming to their town...

They'd been in Dave's house, Dirk still passed out on the couch, Lil'CAL giving them the creepiest smile ever...

John didn't remember if it was the adrenaline, or the alcohol talking. But he didn't give Dave the chance to tell him not to say a word, instead that random moment of courage had been to get a fistful of the shirt the Strider wore and pull him over, back into the doorway...

And then , it happened...

John had sucked it up, John had kissed him, right there propped up against the doorway.

He didn't let the hands trying to push him away stop him.

"What the hell Egbert!~-"

"Shut up..."

Instead of the slap from his best friend he got Dave to actually... shut up.

Their first kiss had happened... and was only parted... when the Police's flashing lights flashed into view...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

John shook his head slowly "I was drunk... but I can only blame the alcohol a few times..."He grinned.

He knew Dave would've laughed, he pulled out his notebook again... It'd probably been close to 24 hours, he had to get writing to get the letter out in the same timezone ...

Oddly enough... He couldn't stop thinking about him...

Is it true? Nothing Separated true love?

He'd believe it when he seen it...


	6. Will You Remember My Presence?

Dave woke up that morning, mumbling tiredly to himself...

He reached over, ready to grab his phone, dreading how many times John texted...

_oh wait..._

He retreated his hand,...  
But he pulled himself out of bed... as self torturous as it was ...He didn't want Dirk's pity party that morning, and Dirk was kind enough not to lay it on him that early... It was almost noon.. fuck.. too early.

Dirk sat at the table, on the laptop, CAL sitting on his lap, looking at the screen. Dave made his way to the bathroom, he'd shower soon, but for now he'd stripped down to his boxers, he pulled a shirt out of the clean basket, hauling it over his head, and pulling it down... He left his glasses on the sink,staring at the floor as he trudged back out to the table, sitting down across from Dirk, who shoved his normal morning mix over to him.

a Mixture of energy drinks, with sugar added... His stomach turned at the thought of looking at the mixture it created. Dirk continued to say nothing.

After what felt like an eternity of sitting there, Dave was pulled from his blankness by the voice.

"Isn't that shirt going to make you hurt worse?"

Dave blinked at him a moment, had Dirk gone fucking nuts... he then looked down, oh...

It was John's long shirt he wore at night , normally so he didn't have to wear underwear...  
And the smell of John's _**Bod **_spray was on it, John adored that weird smelling body spray shit more than anything, no matter how many washings, it stayed...

It was an annoyance anymore, it was comfort.

"You plan on staying out here with me today?"Dirk asked, Peeking up at him, Dave was unable to tell cause of the large glasses...

"I can't stay in my room..."

Dirk didn't have to ask, he knew Johns stuff was littered everywhere.

"Its gonna be strange without the little nerdy kid running around..."

And Dave could only nod...

John rested on his hands and knees, he held the envelope out over the edge of the cloud... he waited a minute, his only ritual with each letter , waiting for that welcoming breeze, and the letter would be taken from his fingers, and sent down to the town below...

**"Dear Dave..."He mumbled softly, wiping his eyes a bit...**

**"Don't Cry John..."**

**That voice wasn;t Dave, So it was no comfort to him.**

_'Dear Dave..._

_Life' ...or death rather.. Is boring up here._

_I spent last night thinking about old memories._

_I know you can;t get these... and I know that you never will notice how much I miss you._

_Are you sad Dave? Please don't be..._  
_Please don't...If my heart could handle anymore, that would break it._

_Im venting, Im stupid...I know..._

_But think about it there cool kid..._

_One less thing to have to babysit..._

_Im sorry i couldn't have been any better to you..._

_Don't say this is your fault, let me take those words from your mouth , right now._

_I miss you... And expect another letter soon..._

_~J. E 3_

_**GAH Two chapters for you in one day, chapter 5 and now chapter 6 :D and im onward to writing Chapter 7 .**_

_**: ) please review... it means alot to me.**_


	7. Don't Forget Me In An Instant

_'Dear Dave,_

GOD DAMN IT WHY CAN'T YOU RESPOND!~

Gah I'm talking to myself . Im So. So SO bored!

I wish you could see me right now,  
looking like an idiot, writing these letters when I know you can't get them.

Are you still moping?

Please don't... thats the only thing bugging me right now.

I don't even want to know what Jake is thinking...

I miss you, Letters forever~

~J. E 3  


[*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*]

John folded that one nicely and neatly , placing it in the envelope and sending it out.

The storm had gathered, so he'd layered up on envelopes for that one when he sent it down, sending it to vanish in the rain and thunder sound...

'Johnnnnn John... Its time to give up now...'  
"Go Away!"

'Johnnn. Your only hurting yourself...Im just trying to comfort you~...'

"Your not helping me at all...Why can't death mean. blankness..."he mumbles... Crosing his arms and resting his head in them.

[ *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*]]

Speaking of his family...

Speaking of Jake more to say...

English sat on navy blue blankets...His head down low ...

A loss for words was all he could be at the moment, their family was still in grieving . . .  
But the impact hadn't smacked him yet...That his litle brother wasn't at the computer desk, he wasn't going to complain about his room being invaded by his older sibling, and he wasn't going to come and shake him awake to tell him it was time to drive him for school. No more talking... No more complaining...

Normally wouldn't someone be happy... they never got along, but their blackmail on eachother had formed a relationship. He'd kept Jake and Dirk a secret, and Jake and Dirk were doing Dave and John the same favors...

Jake clutched in his hand one of Johns many t shirts , he leaned back on the bed, curling up there, just gripping the shirt as though it was his brother .

He was only hoping that John was doing ok wherever he was, isn't that all you could hope for at this point...

~ +~ +~ +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

Dirk had put Dave to work.. but the most heart wreching work in the world.  
In a box on the couch, they were placing Johns things, shirts, except for one night shirt and Johns favorite white t shirt . Those Dave had in his own box in his room.

In the box Dirk was helping him with, was the stuff they would give to Johns family.  
Clothing, Toys, or his 'pranking equipment ' as John had called it, spare glasses, books  
Everything...

In Daves box, he kept all their photos in the frames, all the ones he'd tacked on his wall, Johns drawings he'd been given, the shirts, wristbands, Johns favorite stuffed animal, his sock monkey, complete with a fedora and fake moustache, won for him by Dave on their first date.  
Johns journal, which he never opened and probably never will.

The only thing missing was Johns notebook and stationary stuff... it was nowhere to be found.

Along in that box was their photoalbum, those photos however... *ahem* couldn't be given to his family... none of them could...

Lets just say those um... text messages weren't always um... text.

OK! they were dirty pictures! gah~! tried to censor a bit!

Dave was just hiding so much, Johns cell phone was also kept with Dave, no matter dead or not he'd rather not have John's dads hands around his throat for their um.. certain texts and conversations.

Dave hid his box in his closet, under a mound of clothes, his room looked... empty...

He sat back on his bed , staring at the tank on his desk. "Casey... I don't think Daddy's coming to get you this weekend..."He mumbled

Casey, their Salamander, Also , won on their first tate at the carnival , She'd lasted soo long and they gave her back and fourth on weekends.  
But nope.

Casey wouldn't be visiting her 'daddy' this weekend, because her other dad, had to attend his funeral...

'**Dave! C'mon. Everyone needs a tux!'  
'I don't want one!'  
'You never know when you might need one!'**

Damn memories. The only time Dave would wear the tux that he had hung up in his closet... was to Johns funeral. He mumbled something to himself quietly before sighing .

"Yea... I guess I need one... Better look nice for when they fucking stick my boyfriend in the ground..."He mumbled.

He was going to argue that John shouldn't be buried, he thought that when you buried someone, their soul was trapped... and John didn't deserve that.

But he wouldn't dare stand up to any of them at his funeral. Fearing the ruining of his Best friends final gathering and moment together...

Why did life have to suck so much...

\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \

**YAY CHAPTER 7 !] **


	8. Will My Writing Resurface?

RANDOM NOTES TIME.

Loving your comments and also glad that everyone , I am actually really proud that this is turning out and people are liking it. my main points like, alot of people PM'd me going 'WHERES THE YAOI!?' or 'Why do you constantly switch views' well i really wanted to make this, to have yaoi, but there had to be drama and stuff in it as well.i view the john and dave haracters to have the 'secret sneaky sneaky relationship. And that in the story, and in real life, if something as tragic as death happens, that EVERYONE , would be involved, family, lovers, siblings, everything, so i really want to show the 'background' as well as adhearing to the plot.

PROPS , COSPLAY AND STUFF :

I will draw eventually Dave and Johns style from this fanfic, no its not far off from origional designs or anything. Me and my Moirail/Matesprit in the real world here, actually are going to cosplay from this , so I will most definetly give links in a notes when we get it done. Are making props for the photoshoot such as johns letters, his stationary stuff, keepsake box [you'll see] the photo album, and everything, i will keep photo updates of these as well! :D

Here is Chapter 8 and im ready to start pumping into chapter 9. THANK YOU SO MUCH, REVIEWS ARE WHAT KEEPS ME GOING.

Dirk carried the box down the driveway for the car. Dave was watching him , it'd stopped raining, but the clouds showed they were going to have more. The Funeral was on Saturday, hopefully it'd clear up, its only Thursday so there's some hope.

_Hope..._

Thats what he needed right now...  
He tugged on a red hoodie and trudged outside, his shades tucked tightly against his face, he closed and locked their front door, glancing up at the sky, thats when it happened.. .

The clouds were almost showing his emotion, cause it rained the tears he wouldn't cry... the first two hit his glasses and trailed down his cheek.

"Dave!"

Dirks voice yanked him out of it, and heed starigg at the clouds,  
_  
'Stop trying to decode and suggest some pathetic Hallmark Story from them...'_ He thought, climbing into the passanger seat next to Dirk.

"Now we;re gonna have some pissy, angsty sad people... I know your having it rough too, but we can't make their lives any worse right now"Dirk said calmly as he pulled out of the driveway.

Dave refused to answer, just nod .

The 5 minute drive to the house was quiet, even when the two waited to be let in, was silence...

Jake was the one to answer the door, he looked very... blank, Dirk stepped inside and Dave followed. The family said nothing when Dirk set down the box.

Jake stood next to him , talking about random nothings, but Dave wasn't listening, he was looking out their window, at the clouds again, the dark grey gatherings were capturing his eyes again...

his space was cut off by a hand patting him comfortingly, hethought it was Dirks for a sec, but when he glanced over, it was Jakes. He got nothing but a glance from English...  
All he knew was, even though Jake had to be going through a worse time, he wanted nothing more than to be embraced by Dirk again, he wanted that comfort he wasn't getting.

He wanted to sit down, wallow in self hate, cry a little more, and never get over it. But Jake and Dirk needed time to vent too, he'd rather not vent with them both and being the second one emotioanal and stressing Dirk out.

"Aren't you cold Dear" voice tapped his ears, dropping him from his haze , he blinked, looking down at himself..oh...

Summer was turning to fall. Yet his fashion sense hadn't changed, he wore his black jeans, and his red t shirt . His hoodie had fallen to his elbows and he propped it back up over his shoulders.

"No Ma'am..." He mumbled, He was always overly polite to their family, which was coats, and sweaters and long sleeves by this point, Dirk must have really set out of line to them then, because he was in a black 'wife beater' tank top and a pair of ripped up white skinny jeans.

"Well, We're gonna put the box in Johns room and then probably just hang around"Dirk nodded politely to the two parents before heading back down the halls and up the stairs , stopping at the first door on the left, Dirk handed him over the box, and Jake opened the door, they both knew that he'd want some time, and were at least respecting that .

"We'll be in Jakes room"Dirk said calmly , letting him step in and closing the door behind him. Dave couldn't stand it...He set the box down on the floor, he looked at the closet, and he looked at the bed, and he looked just around the room, he finally walked across the room, sitting down on the bed. He could only just sit there.

There's nothing that reminded him of the pain anymore than the room.  
Dave couldn't say anything at all...  
The last time he'd been in his room, it'd been to pick up John that night.  
Dirk had dropped him off to go pick Jake up from Roxie's house, where they normally got their alcohol supply.

Dave laid back on the bed, enjoying the feeling of the comfort grasp of the sheets around him , and the familar scent, letting his memory take over.

**"Its dark out, no one's going to see..."**

"Thats not the point! "

"C'mon Johnn.. Dirk ain't gonna be back for awhile, we all know they're gonna get wasted and not get us until late..."

"And if my parents walk in?"

"I guess that just means you get to try to be quiet then~"

"Dave! Your Rediculous!"

"And?"

John never really resisted much, it was normal for them to always have those random little picks at eachothers nerves. But They always made up the same way.

Just ... you know it had to be something good. Cause Johns nail marks are still on the glass window, and the tied up bandanna was still hanging off the bed post, along with the nail marks to the headboard...

Fun Night? Fuck ,yes.

Hot. it always was...

Details? Maybe later...

_Right now, its memory time.~_

Dave couldn't help but smirk at the memory, one little happy note in his sadness.

/

'Dear Dave,

Get this voice to shut up! They're telling me stupid shit...

Have you given up on me yet? Have you moved on?

You were watching for me earlier weren't you... Sorry about the storms... but I can't promise they'll end soon.

This letters gonna be short and sweet, that fucign voice is torturing my skull.

I love you 3

J. E 3

'

another letter sent down for the city below...

Boots sloshed through the town, a hooded figure was wandering down the street, stomping through the wet puddles and cackling whenever some splashed up the cloak for thin legs...

"Hmm~Whats this here?~"

The eyes had caught something... sticking out of the storm drain...Reaching down the figure plucked it up...

"Whats thiss?~oh! ..."

"Its a _letter~ "__**  
**_**  
**


	9. Do you read every word?

Dirk opened the door maybe an hour later, Jake following him in the steps inside.

Dave laid on Jons bed still, clinging tightly to himself, Desperate for his friends arms around him.  
Dirk took a seat on the floor, Jake sat in John's desk chair, they both gave eachother a quick glance before looking back down at Dave on the bed.

"I wonder what he's dreaming about"Jake said softly,  
Dirk shrugged. "He's hurting... and he will be, for a long time"

[ -]

"_Dave!"_

"John?"

"Dave! Over here~!"

_**John stood there before him, waving at him from the distance. Dave blinked his eyes a few minutes, letting them adjust behind his glasses.**_

John stood before him, standing there in on the sidewalk, across a street from him...

_"Dave! I made it Dave! Come over here!"_

_**Dave took off across the street, running straight for the waving kid, but just as he reached his arms for him, 3 steps away, he felt his feet dig into the gravel, his arms grabbed air when the form vanished ...**_

"

_NO! NO! JOHN! COME BACK!"_

_**Something held him back, no, held him 'down' he was being forced to stay there in that spot, his arms locked down against his chest, he couldn't move.**_

[-]

Dave's eyes snapped open, a hand over his mouth was stopping his screaming, arms were locked around his form, holding his arms against his chest, , one hand around his mouth, one helping hold him down against the bed./

The screaming continued until the voice silenced him in a minute.

"Calm. Down..."

Dirks voice...

Jake and Dirk had been holding him down on the bed, his eyes narrowed until his screaming turned into a violent hiss, threatening them both until they let go.

"What the fuck!?" Dave growled, eyeing them both .

"You were screaming and beating the fucking wall to death"Dirk said firmly, glaring at him probably behind his shades.

"Wha-"

"You fell asleep and were having a night terror"Jake explained through Dave's confusion. "We had to hold you down or else my parents would've come up here and made things worse"He said calmly.

Dave sighed , letting out a few shaky deep breaths, tilting his head back, eyes closed, leaning back against the wall.

"How long have I been out?"He asked softly .

"Little over an hour"Dirk said "We're gonna go out through the woods and check out the traps... You wanna go?"

The traps... Yeah , Jake was an avid hunter, and ever since coming home from his year in wild side in Africa. He was obsessive over the style of hunting and had set up traps with Dirk, and he checked them every day.

Dave nodded slowly "You guys head out there, i'll find you.."He said softly .

The woods... After a few minutes of waking up and throwing his shoes on, he was out in them. Wild , Free and happy...

John had thing for nature even before Jake left... whenever Dave had come over, John had dragged him through the woods , running through the trees like Jake's wild naturistic side, John was always ahead of him.

John often complained about the 'Free world' being on the other side of the creek that divided his family's acres for the free woods.

They always sat on the banks, looking across, seeing nothing but the feilds and trees...

Even with the frost on the ground Dave let that memory flow through his brain, he headed for the banks of the creek, he'd not bothered to go find Jake and Dirk, but he was sitting there on the edge of the banks, the sun had started setting right over the edge of the 'FreeWorld'

Was John there?

This was his first time sitting there alone, and he missed the hand holding his, and he missed nature babbling from his nerd.

"John..."He whispered softly...

_**"**__**Jooooohhnn?~**__**"**_

Dave nearly toppled off the banks, that voice scared the shit out of him, coming out of no where. A gloved hand grabbed his shoulder, hauling him back by his coat away from the bank, dropping him down on his back.

Dave was staring up at a hooded cloak. His shades hid the persons face more than the hood did.

"Terezi! YOU FUCKING GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK! "

Terezi. Fucking Terezi.

Terezi was one of the trolls that had bothered to still talk to him after their adventures in their relm. She had chosen to stay over in the 'human' world.  
Her. Karkat and Sollux had stayed.

The trolls normally wore the cloaks, black gloves, and long pants and shirts, makeup and much more to conceal their identities from the humans.

Terezi had been one of his friends in their 'fight' and she'd stayed behind to learn more about the human world.  
Karkat had stayed cause of Terezi, thinking he should make sure she didn't mess things up and was normally found at his host home, on the computer, talking to his boyfriend back in the troll world.  
And Sollux just stayed cause he was sick of listening to his ex's whining in the troll world, nothing worse than a fish running around spreading relm had been their new Start.

They'd exchanged almost, after alot of convincing to Roxie. She'd let Rose go and stay for a year with her girlfriend in the troll world, Kanaya.  
And Jade had gone to keep Rose in line.

3 trolls in the human world  
2 humans in the troll world.

Simple right?

Nope...

Its hard getting them back and forth, but luckily, they had gotten everyone together for their plan,

But enough of that.

Terezi was staring down at him with that fucking creepy grin He had no time to talk about 'why' and 'how' things had turned out.

"Welllllllllllll Aren't you gonna talk?~"

God he hated that loud whiny voice ..

"There's nothing to say!"He spat, sitting up straight. God.. he could barely handle her being here, and his hatred had even more of a fact of growing .

"Well you were talking about nerdy boy to the air, so somethings obviously on your brainnn~ "

Luckily for his brain she didn't giggle again.

Terezi... plain and simple, had hated John and Dave's relationship... simple, as , that.  
And it wasn't gonna help if she started picking at the situation.

"Not talking?~ Not fair! I came alll the way tracking you and you won't even talk to me?~ I found alot of stuff in the 'downtown?' section . Aren't you interested?"

God he didn't fucking care what she found, or probably stole, even when she held out the half soaked black backpack from her cloak.

"What is drenching the backpack?" He mumbled.

" Stuff I found on the ground~ well if your un-interested, I'm going back to Jane's house,I have some new stuff to have her read to me! "

Even when she walked away giggling ,the little laugh was something... weird... off for once... well more off than normal.

But fuck it, she left him alone, and that was fine.  
She was going back to her 'host' family in this relm, aka Jane's place.

And she went off to probably read something stupid ...

Dave looked up from his laying position past the branches, looking up at the skies, watching the darkened clouds .

"A message... something..." He mumbled softly, another fucking hallmark moment thought out in his head...

Fuck it, it sounded happy , and he wanted to be happy right now.

But something kept nudging at his brain...

What was so special about Terezi needing something read?...


	10. UPDATE , AND A PHOTO

UPDATE! I am gearing up for Ohayocon! so i am unable to have a big update but i got the chapter written, just needs checked and edited XP and BTW! i took a couple photos of me as John referencing this fic! check out the photo , its on my tumblr but i won't be a tumblr spammer, so i can just send the link and if you like it, reblog if you like 3

Thanks so much for the support and love and I was happy when i got the pm request for this 3 it was fun 8 )

Link: image/40222545299 for Tumblr, if cared, my tumblr is lonelylil-cal

link to photo on DeviantArt

my DeviantArt is Psybellaloner

#/d5r3hqn


	11. Or Pass It by Without Notice?

Terezi popped into Jane's home, backpack in hand "Jannneeeeee Im home~"She chimed. Terezi dropped onto the couch, pulling her backpack close and rummaging through it, popping out cool looking bottles, a cane, her extra set of gloves, spare clothes, a few law books [stolen from the library] and then finally, the stacks of papers she'd found, she fingered through the sheets, until she plucked the envelope out.

"Janeee Can you read this for me?"She grinned, showing off pointed teeth .  
"Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeee" She cooed.

Jane sighed , peeking out in the doorway from the kitchen "I'll be out"She said calmly, she normally didn't like it when people interupted her time with her oven, she headed out into the livingroom, sitting down on the couch next to her before reaching over to take the letter from her.

"Ok... lets see"

"What if its a map? Or like a secret goverment document! or What if-"

"Its someones mail Terezi..."

"huh?"

"Mail... Someone is writing to their mother -_ -"She said calmly.

Which was true, the letter was nothing more than a man who was writing to his mother about a job or something, nothing important...

Terezi frowned, looking slightly disapointed "I was hoping for something cool"She mumbled.

"Sorry?~..."

~

Dave stayed there for what seemed like eternity, until it was finally time to go home...He was in the car before Dirk was , knowing if he wasn't, he'd be left behind.

The drive home was nothing, no talk, no music, just silence until they got home.

When they finally were in the apartment, what they found was a sad gloomy feeling.

"Diiiiirrrkkkkkk welcome home! ^_^ " CAL's voice was annoying. CAL was programmed robot style inside the small puppet body, he was able to respond and was as annoying as a 5 year old. It was just like talking to a smarter version of Cleverbot.

"Thanks Lil'CAL" He said calmly "What have you been up to while we were gone?"

"Tv! Tv! and more tv!"the voice cheered back.

"Careful, don't let it rot you" And with that Dirk was back in his room.

"Daveeeee Can't you take me to Dirk? Pleaseeeee?"

Dave wasn't in any mood to but he knew the continuious 'please' would last until he did, he scooped CAL up and carried it for Dirks room, leaving him outside the door and knocking 3 times, meaning CAL wanted inside, before he headed to his own room.

Play with your turn tables? no...  
Play more computer games? fuck. no. never an option.  
Movie? No  
Read? Ha.  
He didn't know what to do, he instead headed in for his bathroom.

Within minutes he was almost nose deep in warm bubbly water.  
His red eyes gleamed down at his own reflection.  
This was weird.

John wasn't in the corner on the laptop in the bathroom , complaining about him not being allowed in the bath too, or that sometimes he didn't feel like getting in.

Dave blew off some air into the water, creating little bubbles that popped into steam.  
He was missing the nagging voice a little too much , he sunk in lower, and lower, until his head rested at the bottom of the tub, his blonde hair drenched to a darker shade, and his eyes closed.

Resting like that until he definetly needed to come up for air.

Dave reached over to the buzz of his phone , pushing the answer button .

"Yea?"

"Dave?"

"Whos asking?"

"Rose. Your Porn account manager. We need 600 pictures of your balls"

"Rose. Jokes aren't funny right now."

"Damn something crawled up your ass, still not over it?"

"No."

"Well. I've called to tell you that your ass better be calling me next time~ Minutes and signal over here sucks . So i thought 'Lets disturb Dave in the bathtub!' "

He mumbled something to himself when he heard Kanaya laughing in the background, then he stopped  
"Wait, how'd you know I'm in the bath?"He asked.

"You accidentally skype called me when you put your phone down, i tried caling and you pushed the answer button. "

"So..."

"Yes We all got to see you in the bath."

"God fucking damn it!"

"Calm your tits. I'll leave you alone, but i got news, so the moment your out, give me a call"

Then all he heard was the dial tone after she hung up.

Greeeeaattt... just what he needed -_-

-  
After what seemed like an eternity in that tub eventually the water got cold, so he drained it, rinsed himself off and climbed out, wrapping himself in a towel to keep from shaking and grabbing his phone, heading for his room he sat on the bed, dialed Rose's number and waited.

'Got them photos of your balls?'

"Shut it. Now, whats the news that just couldn't wait" He mumbled sarcastically.

"I have something for you! " God her cheeriness was dripping off the phone

"What?"

"Mail!"


	12. Remember me, for I Am Watching Waiting

_'Dear Dave,  
The world hates me...  
But the voice hates me mocks me, It mimicks me... a  
nd it reminds me about all the stuff that went down.._

I miss you so much, and I can't even do anything about it... y  
our smiling face... your raident eyes...  
God damn it . I want to take all the fights back,

I want to be there for you!

~  
Love, John Egbert'

'Dear Dave,  
Hope you think of me...  
and I'm sorry tomorrow is gonna be such a hard day.  
I heard you came to the funeral home to visit me today.  
That.. really means alot...  
The voice is telling me something is gonna happen today.  
Why Am I both worried , and exited?

Writing words forever

Love, John Egbert'

'Dear Dave,  
Short Letter...  
I love you.

Love,John Egbert.

~

Everyday, A new letter...

Friday night John sent down the small letter, the sky was shimmering with stars.

The children were running around his cloud, tossing little peices of clouds back and forth, little troll kids and little human kids.

Its kinda sad right? That They died so young, and its sad seeing younger adults, or mothers, or just people running around in general. Tonight was apparently going to be a special night.

Tonight. A select few got to meet 'Their Voice'  
Their little guardian that watched over them in the afterlife.

John was all gussied up by Dolorosa , The mother instinct troll had placed him in a blue button down and a black vest, shimmering in the star powder, tying his bowtie, and fixing his hair.

"Trust me dear, Tonights your night"She smiled

"Thank you..." He whispered softly, looking down at his hands nervously.

John and the Dolorosa had connected in that parental way.

The Dolorosa had her child Signless to watch over... or..Sufferer... Him and the Disciple and the Dolorosa lived communally on the other set of neighboring clouds, along with the 'Star sent' children of the Sufferer and the Disciple; Kankri and Meulin .

John had learned alot while being up there.. that they all waited for their next generation of trolls to join them in the stars.

The Sufferer had switched things, for he died first. And once the Dolorosa and Disciple died, they joined him. And Kankri and Meulin were awaiting their StarSent children, Karkat and Nepeta.

Star Sent children were the 'Decendents' of trolls, but once they died, their generations were parents and children, a big star family.

"You Look Amazing John..."The Disciple had joined them in their conversation now.  
"Indeed, Absolutely Purrfect~ " Meulins words cutting in next to hers.

"T-Thank you..."He stuttered, blushing slightly when he looked up at the 3 pairs of eyes.

"Ready to meet the Voices..." Signless wandered for them next, his swaying cloak masking and shading the majority of the blinding lights of the stars glimmering from his fragile eyes.

"Y-Yea..I guess So.. Kinda nervous though, ya know?" He asked, looking up into the eyes of Karkats ancestor .

"Nothing to be worried about as long as you don't offend her..."

"Honestly Kankri.. Calm down!" Meulin bopped the newest person in the coversation on the nose.

John sighed shakily. Signless, and Kankri. Disciple and Meulin.

"Hey Dolorosa?"

"Yes Dear?"

"Where is your Star Sent child?" He asked curiously, and regretted it when all eyes turned to the woman...

"Porrim... Porrim is a rather... Nomadic Girl..." The Dolorosa began, everyone sat down, prepared for the story.

"Porrim wants the best for the world, as Do I. She doens't come around many of the others, because she sits at the gates, watching over her Star Sent child. Kanaya." The Dolorosa explained .

"And I know that when Kanaya gets here, she will be waiting for Karkat, Just as I waited for Kankri with Signless since he passed before me" She said, reaching to lay a hand on the Sufferer's head.

The glow took over his form, phasing to the sight of a small child.. back when the Sufferer, was Signless. When she took her hand off, he was flashed back to normal.

"We wait for our dear children. As for human custom though.. we are unsure why you ended up not being waited on by someone... Or maybe, they are waiting for you to play a bigger role" The Dolorosa smiled.

John was linking them all together.

Dolorosa [Paradise Bound]- Porrim [Paradise Bound] -Kanaya [Star Sent]  
Signless/Sufferer [Paradise Bound] - Kankri[Paradise Bound] - Karkat [Star Sent]  
Disciple [Paradise Bound] - Meulin [Paradise Bound] - Nepeta[Star Sent]

He had encountered others nowadays as well. and would simply add them to his little log in his notebook of who he was keeping track of . And he was knowing that the trolls down on earth still. Were the STarsent, and when they died.. They would become paradise bound, aka, meaning they would remain here.

He'd met all the ancestors and their starsents. and had them linked to who they were waiting on.

The handmaid , with her Star Sent Damara and they were waiting on Aradia.  
The summoner , his star sent Rufioh and they were waiting on Tavros.  
The The Ψiioniic / The Helmsman , his star sent Mituna, and they were waiting on Sollux  
Neophyte Redglare, her star sent Latula and they were waiting on Terezi  
Marquise Spinneret Mindfang, her star sent Aranea and they were waiting on Vriska  
Executer Darkleer , his star sent Horrus and they were waiting on Equius  
The orphaner Duelscar, his starsent Cronus, and they were waiting on Eridan  
The Grand Highblood, his starsent Kurloz and they were waiting on Gamzee  
The condescenion, her starsent Meenah and they were waiting on Feferi

So. Much. To. Write. In general, his map, looked like this  
**  
Dolorosa [Paradise Bound]- Porrim [Paradise Bound] -Kanaya [Star Sent]  
**

**Signless/Sufferer [Paradise Bound] - Kankri[Paradise Bound] - Karkat [Star Sent]  
**

**Disciple [Paradise Bound] - Meulin [Paradise Bound] - Nepeta[Star Sent]**

Handmaid [Paradise Bound] - Damara [Paradise Bound] - Aradia [Star Sent]

Summoner [Paradise Bound] -Rufioh [Paradise Bound] - Tavros [Star Sent]  


**The The ****Ψiioniic[Paradise Bound] ****-Mituna [Paradise Bound] - Sollux [Star Sent]  
**

**Neophyte R. [Paradise Bound] -Latula [Paradise Bound] -Terezi [Star Sent]**

Marquise Spinneret Mindfang[Paradise Bound] - ,Aranea [Paradise Bound] - Vriska[Star Sent]  


**Executer Darkleer [Paradise Bound] - , Horrus[Paradise Bound] - Equius[Star Sent]  
**

**The orphaner Duelscar,[Paradise Bound] - Cronus[Paradise Bound] - , Eridan[Star Sent]  
**

**The Grand Highblood[Paradise Bound] - , Kurloz[Paradise Bound] - Gamzee[Star Sent]  
**

**The condescenion,[Paradise Bound] - Meenah[Paradise Bound] - Feferi[Star Sent]  
**_**  
**___

John of course wrote most of this down cause he'd never remember, they all knew his weak attempts at sending letters. But he had encountered and whined and cried to most of them, he stayed clear of Darkleer and Horrus, kinda avoided the bully like Duelscar and Cronus, and STAYED FAR AWAY, from Grand Highblood, but, Kurloz was kinda cool.

The only family that refused any type of communation from him was Mindfang and Aranea, Vriska's ancestry. It wasn't that surprising, but they were constantly giving him looks, but never saying a word, or talking in hushed tones.  
Everyone had a guess there was something up with their StarSent, Vriska.

John hadn't payed no mind to it, until his name was called, that voice. Wanting him to join the mist that soon gathered .

"Go Step inside dear, you can do it" The Dolorsa smiled, nudging the fearful John twords the fog, until he was fully submerged.

"We are always Watching..."

Only then did John notice, that the fog was circled by all of them. So. Many . Trolls.

He clutched his notebook to his chest, inside written was notes, he'd gotten everyone but Mindfang and Aranea to write a note to their trolls at home, he'd planned on sending them out later to please them.

A flash of light... and he was gone...

_~~~_

[[YAY ANOTHER CHAPTER DONE  
**. Sorry for all the cliff hangers but i wanted to put in what the hell JOhn was doing all this time XD .**

note. I do take copyright for the PAradise bound, and Star SEnt meanings, that is something that i created the idea of, i do not own the scratch or ancestry characters, but the whole plots of that was my original idea. No meaning to go against Hussie, infact, i think he would be slightly pleased. ]] 


	13. Let Me Home, Hold Me Again

John opened his eyes, watching the sparkling fog surround him in a haze. He couldn't help but watch the wonder as the sky, the stars everything faded, he was risen there in the middle, the city below his feet was vanishing, fading from view.

"_Hello John~ Are you ready?~"_

He gulped and nodded shakily, letting out a large breath, but the white blank floor set him down as a surface. He was in what appeared to be a pure white room, except for a black long carpet, it led up to the fog, which was fogged around what looked like , maybe a chair?

"Oh John!"

That voice... Sounded so familiar... That mocking ring to it was that of the voice as well.

"Vriska."

Finally a name for the voice. As he guessed,the Narcissistic girl was propped up on her white chair like it was a throne. She was sitting there in the chair and was watching him with her keen eye.

"V-Vriska~!" John gasped, just staring at her "Y-Your dead?!"

"No John dear... Not dead. Time is a friend of mine. Now... What do you desire of me?"

"What?"

"You heard me, What do you desire of me... I can guess you might want to go home, to earth, with Daveee"

"Yea!...Wait... that can't really happen though..." he whispered quietly, turning his face for the floor.

"But oh yes it can!"

He turned his head up instantly, staring at her in disbelief . He was hugging his notebook tightly against his chest, praying she didn't let her mind wonder, luckily, her mind was occupied with something else.

"See John, its simple, All I ask for, is something for you to do for me on earth"

"Anything!"God he sounded over excited , and had almost interrupted her in the process .He stood there awkwardly after his response, his whole body tingling with excitement and happiness .  
"Anything Vriska anything! I want to go home! " He pleaded after a moment of silence, now it was starting to bug him, her stare was bugging him .

"Tell no one why I am here... Is one. And second, you will have a challenge , If I place you back on earth, you will be placed on the opposite sides of the country ...From there... you will be returned with my guidance and your want to continue to be alive, will be granted if you can make it home before the Summer is over..." She said.

You felt your heart sink a bit "What If I don't..."

"Then you will have the options of dwelling on earth and watching the others...or returning here to the loving arms of these ancestors, who you can tell have taken to you. "She shrugged like it was nothing to hear.

John had to admit, the family almost that he'd created that was a very nice and comforting crowd.  
But going home to Dave sounded heavenly .

"Alright" He nodded "I accept the terms" He said.

Vriska smiled happily "Alright John. But for now, lay down, rest over there..." She nodded, and almost suddenly, in the corner John saw a small blue bed, with a blanket and pillow, and a backpack .

"Sleep for now, and inside the bag , i some money for food and water, a few sets of clothes, and more pens and paper for you witty little project"She said.

It was as if it was a sudden realization that he was tired, his eyes were dragging . John leaned over and placed his items in the bag and tucked it up next to his pillow before crawling into the bed, happy to feel the blankets being pulled up over him , leaving him with a comfort and enough to knock him out the moment he hit the pillow.

"Goodnight John... And Good Bai" A snap of her fingers

Johns dreams... yes. john... _dreamed? _Something he hadn't been able to do in a long time...

John dreamed of being reunited with the world, he wanted to get food, and he wanted to change clothes, and he wanted to run around, and see all that it had to offer, like being rebirthed .

Dave...Oh yes. Being reunited with Dave.

It would be a long walk, travel and everything... But it was worth it, God it was going to be worth it.  
To see his mom, his dad, Jake, Dirk, and Dave.

He wanted to go home, just to go home.

John felt so blissfully sleeping. Vriska even felt a pang of emotion watching the happy , blissful tears running down the sleeping face.

A snap, just that snap of her fingers... and the room was gone.

He was gone...

[[SHORT. BUT THIS ONE, AND THE ONE HAPPENING AFTER THIS MIGHT BE SLIGHTLY SHORTER, BUT NOT BAD, NOT BAD BAD SHORT. But listen trust me, if you really like this fanfiction, you will be able to endure, one , maybe two shorters, cause the big, big big big parts are happening soon . Love and reviews my dears. Thank you so much [[insert many many many hearts here since they won't let me 3 ]]


	14. Loneliness Hurts Worse

"Why... Why did you do this to me..." Dave whispered, the darkening skies just matched everyone's mood, he was standing there, clad in his white and black tux, starring as the undertaker shoveled the last of the dirt in on the grave.

Everyone had left, but Dave remained.

The headstone was set there happily, they were in John's favorite place, the old cemetery, residing right near the bridge where he'd first met John.  
After the undertaker had left, Dave sat there on the grave, staring at the tombstone

Johns name, age, and everything written out with a chorus of flowers around the stone.

Dave then looked up at the sky staring up at it a moment before shaking his head and gazing around the empty quiet cemetery, before his eyes landed on the old bridge.  
"Good memories Egbert... Good memories" He whispered, feeling his eyes beginning to weaken their hold from behind his glasses.

Shall we relive this tale?

**"Egbert! Can you swim Egbert?"**

"NO!NO NO NO I CAN'T! PUT ME DOWN! PUT ME DOWN!"

"Put you down? OKAY!"

With that it was the splashing sound. All Dave had seen in the distance was the form splashing down into the then overflowed creek. Reaching up to the banks and flooding into the cemetery. Anybody could stand up... except for the rocks . Now that.. that is what scared Dave Strider that day.

The moment he hit that bridge the kids bailed and Dave was up and over the stoned bridge before anything, splashing down into the water , swearing at the cold chills and feeling the stunning snap straight to his ankles, lucky he had enough bulk that the impact didn't crack his legs on his thin form, he ran around under the bridge,searching for the kid, before slipping and falling through a cavethrough in the rocks, sending him fully under the water... what he was stepping on wasn't mud though.

He reached down, grabbing whatever the item was and hauled up for air, pulling the item up he realized it was the kid... damn that kid was light... and also unmoving. He pulled the kid up out of the banks and up onto the higher part of the shore

"**Kid... Hey kid.." Shaking him wasn't enough "Sorry about this kid but its gotta happen " Dave took a moment to think, then raised a hand and backhanded the kid, sending water and coughs through the air, snapping him from the numbing cold shock.**

"What were you thinking not trying to get up under that water!" He said , pulling the kid up by his arm.  
"Must have.. uh.. hit the rocks or something..." He said meekly, rubbing the back of his head slightly, wincing when he felt the huge knot.  


" **Well lets get you changed or something, as far as I know, people in drenched clothes like, get cold and then like... die. " Dave snickered when the kid when doe-eyed. **

"**Don't worry, I just hit you, I didn't kiss you!"He teased, watching the wide look match with a red face to go with it.**

"W-Well … Uh... alright then. I don't live far fro-"  
"My House is right over there" Dave pointed out from down the bridge, into the smaller portion of the town.

"O-ok..." John stuttered "Im John by the way, John Egbert" He smiled, holding out a hand.

Dave raised an eyebrow from behind his shades, "Dave … Dave Strider" He smiled a bit, reaching out and giving the kid a small shake, used to just saying a name and moving on.

"Dave. It fits" John smiled.

Dave grinned this time, before heading to wander down the bridge "C'mon Egderp. Lets get you changed." He said grinning as he waited for John to follow.

~

God that memory. They always met at the bridge when they wanted to hang out after that... Dave remembered the looks from Dirk when he'd brought John home.  
John had called his dad and stayed at the house that night, the automatic click,  
They'd spent hours playing video games before they'd even gone downstairs to meet Dirk. John clad in a pair of blue boxers and one of Dave's record shirts that was about twice his size.

Dave sat at the table, patting a seat next to him, Dirk watching him with Lil'CAL from the table.

John and Dave sat there just talking and stuff, and then after grabbing a bunch of junkfood and sodas from the fridge they were back upstairs with their games. They talked about girls, video games, everything.

They spent their lives like that, and the next morning seeing John with bedhead, sleepy eyes and still in his shirt, was the greatest thing to wake up to.  
And when John was picked up by his older brother the next morning they sat by the door still talking , and Dirk answered the door when the knocks sounded .

A muscular built man, tanned skin, vibrant eyes and wearing khaki shorts and a tight t shirt, was standing there, smiling brightly.

"Time to go John"He smiled, reaching out a hand to help John up, who helped Dave up. Dave had watched Dirk stumble to find words to say and everything, boy after John left with Jake did they hear about it from eachother about liking the brothers.

~~  
Dave shook his head as he remembered the years they'd spent together...  
Even when they all had to team up and play that damn game and met their 12 other friends in the troll realm.

They'd said it was their happily ever after... but no...It turned into this, just this.

Pain, emotional heartbreak, everything to make things bad, worse and make him hate everything once more.

Dave remained there until he was forced to go home. He headed through the door in silence, and right for his room, ignoring the looks from Lil'CAL in the process.

He headed in there and closed the door, trying to get everything in order with his mind.

"Where to go from here..."He mumbled to himself, he stood there in the middle of his room before heading over to his bed, crawling under the blankets and basking in the warm smells and feeling of just being comforted .

~~


	15. Lets begin this adventureTogether

"_I'm sorry John...I'm so Sorry..."_

Dave? Was that Dave's voice ?

John was standing in a cemetery, behind a stone... And he was looking at the blonde on the other side, sitting on his knees, staring at the stone.

_Dave? No... Please don't cry!"_

But Dave didn't respond , John leaned forward, eyeing the stone to see what was written on it...

_** 'Here Lies John Egbert',...**_

That was the only line he needed to read, he looked back up at Dave.

But he wasn't there, his vision was blurring,... everything was going dark.

~

John's eyes fluttered open, he sat up in a sweaty haze. He was staring right into some stony grey ones.

"Hey Kid? You alright? ..."

Wait , a voice?

"Kid can't you talk right?Why are you sleeping out here!"

John blinked a moment before realizing the skies weren't around him, he was sitting against a wall... When he looked side to side, he realized he was in an alleyway, clinging to his backpack.  
He was clad in a blue plaid shirt over his normal ones, and slightly loose jeans, he fixed his glasses on his head, before nodding slowly.

Then it clicked... he was _**ALIVE!  
**_  
He quickly stumbled to his feet, pressing up against the wall, looking at the man before him, the woman holding a small child and they stepped back.

"Are you alright Dear?"The womans voice was so soft , it almost made him cry, he was so happy to hear a human voice .

"Y-Yes I am fine...Just probably,.. fell asleep. Nothing bad, But.. Where Am I?"He asked, feeling a subtle relief as his vocal chords mended words.  
"You are in Maine of course. Why? Where are you from?"

_MAINE!?_

John felt his legs get shaky.

Dear god. Vriska was true, as farthest away from Texas as possible...

"I'm meant to be in Texas right now" He said quiety.

"Texas?!"The woman gasped "What are you doing so far away from home!? And so young!"

"I...I guess I spent too much time on vacation,But I don't remember much, so I think maybe I was hit on the head or something, But I need to get home ... and I need to get home soon"He said .

"Well... Considering we can't just leave you out here. My husband drives trucks to the states over, He leaves on Saturday, Its Thursday. Do Stay with us or something and then he can take you as far as the state line in New jersey ."

John let out a breath, such a good start. "Thank you...Thats very generous."He said quietly .  
:I am John Egbert"

"Just call me Spades or Slick. And this here is Paint... we call her Paint, its short for her real name with is Patricia . But she's all artsy so we just call her Paint or "He smiled.  
"And thats our little boy Andrew."

As they were introduced John took note in his brain to write down later what They looked like.

Spades.. Or Slick. Hey why not just call him both. Was a very tall man, lightly tanned skin and clad in a black t shirt and black jacket, black pants and a black fedora over black hair.

Ms. Paint was small and fragile looking, pale white with her blonde hair tied back in a paint splattered bandana and a bright shirt and skirt.

Andrew was a little thing, Small, green shirt, shorts, a small tuft of brown hair on his small head.

The family looked so... perfect. The only word to pop into Johns head as he followed them.

~  
Dave woke the next morning. A package left on his bed by Dirk.

It was from Rose and Kanaya

_'Hey there mr Strider boy too-cool-too-talk,_

Heres your mail, Hope your doing alright, call me sometime !  
~ Kanaya.'

Mail?  
Oh yeah. somehow a letter or something got to him. He sighed and looked in the package after reading the small out a Pastel Envelope.

_"Dear Dave"  
_Heh it almost reminded him of John's handwriting, a pang of sadness hitting him in the chest before he slid it open gently, pulling out the letter inside...


	16. I will think of you in Maine

Dave sat back on his bed, opening the letter, unfolding it, and reconizing the scratchy yet neat looking handwriting.

[[referencing 1st Chapter]]  
**  
****' Dear Cool Kid,**

**Hey! I know... Creepy if you ever actually get this letter. Though I doubt the universe would allow this . There's no address in these clouds so I doubt I'll hear from you.**

**How are you?**

**I miss you... I really do.**

**I miss you, and Jake, and Dirk and Jade and dare I say. even CAL**

**Is there anything I can do to hear your voice there Best friend?**

**I'm gonna send all these letters to you... until I'm home back to you.**

**I'm sorry I was so naive. That stupid fight shouldn't have set me off, I'm sorry for yelling,I'm sorry for being annoying to you...**

**and I'm sorry you had to put up with me...**

**If I hadn't;t bolted, If I'd worn my glasses.**

**If that road had no cars on it...**

**Maybe I'd still be there with you. To make things better**

**~~~~~~~~~~~Letters~From~John~~~~~~~~~**

**~John Egbert**

Dave sat there, re-reading it over and over. Someone was pranking him. It had to be some sort of bullshit.. But it was John's handwriting, and John couldn't have been around to write this, It had to be fake.

But...  
Why was his brain telling him to take it seriously. . . Dear god this was too much stress. No no this couldn't be bringing itself up, someone was wanting to be horrible to him.

He folded the letter up, and put it back , but never threw it away, and as he put it in his desk drawer... He noticed. It said 1/? ... This was the first one ... Of how many?

He laid back in bed, quickly plugging in his headphones and listening to a playlist on his laptop. No no. Dealing with this. Not going to happen.

His mind wandered that night as he fell asleep...

~_Life Could be a fairytale. Some end strangely... and Some don't end at all'_ One of a story that Vriska told them when they were all hanging around, one of her little mysterious goodbyes...

As he laid there... He decided tomorrow he was going to the bridge.

Hoping. Something else would surface itself...  
"_Damn It Dave... Be cool... He's gone.. Get the fuck over it..."_

But something was telling him that you never give up.

~  
Over the night , Dave was plagued with memories of the past.

Sad ones, bad ones, good ones and fun ones...Everything was reaching a craze in his head...

but what He didn't realize was the way things worked. Once you found and opened one, the second one would be available to you, the issue though, is finding them .

[[back to John!]]

John spent That night with their family. They all sat at a table, eating dinner and he was happily letting them answer as long as it meant they kept talking.  
He loved the sounds of their voices. And Noted them each time he got the chance.

Every detail he needed to know .

_Log One_

_Spades Slick, and Ms. Paint..._  
_Oh! and little Andrew._

_I already noted down their looks, but after dinner I was shown to a room in their small home. Andrew of course probably wonders what I'm doing invading their couldn't be anymore than 5 years old, at the oldest._

_One thing that I'm still unused to, is hearing human voices. They feel so strange to me and if I hear to much it messes with my head._

_Spade's is kind of dark, but not monotoned, He keeps it very limited with only enough emotion to tell me what he's feeling, for being so well mannered and dressed I would have mistaken him for a buisness man or something. He drives trucks basing for the bigger companies out there._

_I can keep using my name up until I get closer to Texas, Cause by then I don't want to risk anyone noticing me, and locking me away or something._

_Back to Voices._

_Ms. Paint. Hers is very quiet, but its very ... Motherly sounding. And she seems so happy._  
_Ms. Paint came here from Asia to start life here in the art world. She is obsessed with colors and paints. So her name fits well._

_Andrew sounds like a smart kid, he counts and reads and seems to have no problem listening to instructions and was overall nice to me._

_but this place makes me think of home. And home makes me think of Dave..._

_Summer is over In one month._

_Tomorrow morning we head out for the drive, the whole drive would be a good 10 hours at the most, then he drops me in the center , which is further than he was supposed to go. Then from there, its walking._

_They have packed me food and water to add to my bag, and even bought me a new note book to keep logging. I could not have stayed with more generous people._

_Tomorrow though I will send out another letter to Dave. This time though. I can send it directly to his address!_

_With some of my money from Vriska, I got a disposable camera, a roll of stamps and a couple pencils ._

_Well. Its time to go to bed..._

_~ John Egbert_

_The next morning John was awake, dressed, fed and headed out, bag in hand, k_isses from Ms Paint and Andrew and hugs to go around, he couldn't have thanked them enough, he got their address and phone number down, so in time he could keep in contact.

Once they were in the loading truck it was to begin the drive, the only first request he had was to stop at the state sign of every state. Slick had no problem with it though. And once they hit Maine's borders. John hopped down and to the sign.

Pulling out his camera and taking an awkward Selfie it was back into the truck, each state they passed he knew he was going to have a new adventure.

for now though. It was just time to sit back, and daydream about what happens. When he gets home...


	17. I crave your comfort from everywhere

**[[Sorry all! Its been almost a month and legit i am sorry. I put my Archive account off for a month as well. Just so much has been happening, but now I'm back and ready to continue regularly! ]]**

~

John watched as they passed the Welcoming sign into New Jersey . Stopping and taking his picture and he was out of the truck at the nearest rest stop. Spades handed down his bag and gave him a hug goodbye .

"It was nice traveling with you. But this is where I move to drop the loads and collect new ones and head home. Good luck to ya kid.. good luck"He said, and with that John was gone.  
John spent some time walking down into the town, pausing as he dropped some envelopes into there, happily marking them with 'Maine, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Connecticut and New York ...' Next he went to have his pictures Developed, and tucking them into his bag, he didn't want to send them for fear of spooking Dave.

He had eaten for the day from Spades. He was within his first days within his trip, and had made good work, he was quick to take his leave from the town, walking through the spacious roads, it was just getting to where the sun was setting, so he had to find a way to go for sleep that night, he had made it through that one town, and had done so in a good hour and a half. He rested there , in the fields. His notebook in his hands tucked close. He finished his log and curled up there under the tree in the fields. Closing his eyes so peacefully.

~  
"What's It like up there John?"  
A whisper lost to the air

Dave's hands pressed into the cool stones of the bridge , he was looking for something, but nothing. His eyes rested down into the water as he leaned against the archway he curled his fingers over the edge of the bridge, and he paused, that wasn't stone.

He leaned over more, looking at the underside of the arches for support, there was something lodged into the stone of the bridge.

He pushed his fingers through the crack and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper , and he unfolded it...

Dear god...

Dear god …

His fingers were shaking rapidly as his eyes scanned down the papers, almost ripping it in half by how bad his hands shook.

**_[Referencing Chapter 6]_**  
**_'Dear Dave..._**

**_Life' ...or death rather.. Is boring up here._**

**_I spent last night thinking about old memories._**

**_I know you can;t get these... and I know that you never will notice how much I miss you._**

**_Are you sad Dave? Please don't be..._**

**_Please don't...If my heart could handle anymore, that would break it._**

**_Im venting, Im stupid...I know..._**

**_But think about it there cool kid..._**

**_One less thing to have to babysit..._**

**_Im sorry i couldn't have been any better to you..._**

**_Don't say this is your fault, let me take those words from your mouth , right now._**

**_I miss you... And expect another letter soon..._**

**_~J. E 3_**

The Letter crumpled in his hands,He let out a shaky breath as he stuffed it into his pockets

"Fuck... Just... Fuck"He breathed out, his mind throbbing from emotion and panic and confusion as he crumbled into a ball onto the bridge, Just staring down at the water, sobbing heavily. He was letting everything out

Fuck Everything. Fuck Love, Fuck caring Fuck Pride. Fuck Life in general

He took off his shades tossing them aside, tears streaking from the crimson eyes, sobbing heavily into the stone, he found his mind wasting away, he was screaming, he was sobbing, he was pounding at the stone until his knuckles throbbed with pain and scratched the skin to blood on the stone.

**"WHAT IS THIS?! WHAT IS HAPPENING?! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME! THIS ISN'T FAIR!"**

He didn't know what was happening, but every word in those letters, everything, everything happening was putting his mind in confusion and agony.  
It wasn't until the arms locked around his body that he began kicking and punching, writhing like a child.

His face was pressed into a burly chest, and the arms were locked around him tightly, refusing to let him move, within seconds he realized it was Dirk, who had been driving by on the way to work when he heard the screaming

**"LET ME GO! LET ME GO! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! JUST LET ME GO AND LEAVE-!"**

But the grip held, Dirk ignored every word, he knew they were out of nothing but emotion, he gripped onto his sibling tightly, hushing him quietly until the struggles relaxed and Dave was just a sobbing wreck in his lap.

"D-Dirk... Whats wrong with me?...I-Im falling apart..." He sobbed into his chest, clinging to the shirt.

"Its alright... stop thinking about it for right now, just relax, just relax" He hushed quietly.

Dave;s eyes opened in cracks, feeling surrounded by the comfort, his long sleeves were wrapped around his wrists as they gripped Dirk's shirt, a hint of

the fabric slid down just slightly enough to send him into a torrent of sobs, as he closed his eyes and buried his head down into his shirt again, not ready to face the scars that were there on his wrists...


	18. My Excitement gets the better of me

[[WARNING. THIS CHAPTER MAY BE SLIGHT TRIGGERING . Not recommended to read if you are easily triggered by talking of self harm[its not explicit i promise] . Just a heads up guys not meaning to be rude, I just don't want anyone to be offended okay? :) If anyone is. please message me and maybe I can make an 'alternate' chapter if your desperate for this one : ) . ]

Dirk took him home. Letters crumpled in his fists, he dropped the crumpled balls in his drawer with the first letters, closing the drawer.

He dropped back on his bed, his eyes still hurting from stinging tears. He rested back on those sheets ,closing his eyes lightly.

_"John This isn't fair...I can't handle something like this_" He thought, his mind tried to drift off but he refused to sleep, standing up onto his feet and heading out and into the bathroom, closing and locking the door he stripped down, crawling into the shower. He sat there in the shower and reached over to the faucet, turning on the shower, and flinching at the first contact the cool water splashed over him. As it got hotter it went to the point of irritating his skin to being red.

He washed himself off, scrubbing until his skin felt raw. When he finally stepped out he was standing infront of the full body mirror.

He looked awful. There were bags under his eyes to the point where it was heavy to keep them open. His eyes, once so vibrant, were dull to the point of almost black and ashen.  
Trailing from his shoulders down to his arms, over his pale skin were deep bruise colored scars. That scabbed feeling of them almost healing.

They were on his hips, and down his upper thighs.

Dave was toothpicky as it was, but even when he ate he couldn't help but feel sick. He couldn't throw it up though, he wouldn't eat for a bit, but since he took his plate to his room it was easy to just throw the food away after a few bites.

Dave had become his worst nightmare.

But he shook his head, pulling the towel up around his waist and heading down into hall and for his room.

He tugged on a loose fitting long sleeved shirt and his boxers, dropping onto the bed, right in that crevice to the bed and the wall he had his little box.  
He reached over on the desk and fed casey before he pulled the box from its hiding spot and opened it up.

Blades, broken razors and blades missing, creams and bandages. Lighters and bandaids.

Dear god.

He sat there, thumbing over each blade before he heard steps on the stairs, closing and hiding the box.

"Dave?... Dave can I come in?"Dirk's voice from behind the door.

Normally he never asked, but he just didn't want to push things with a muttered 'okay' he made his way into the room, he sat on the chair across the room, looking over at him.

Dave cleared his throat first, beginning to talk  
"Look . I-I'm sorry for what I said earlier. Okay? I just . I was freaking out. I really don't hate yo-"  
"Enough"

Dave turned his eyes to look up at him.

"I know you were upset. and I just can't tell what over though Dave. I get it, you hate that John's not here. But . Freaking out in public like that would just get you taken from me and locked away Dave. Please._ Please_. Not again."He said.

Dave nodded lightly "Yea. I won't"He said .

"John wouldn't want you this upset Dave..."

~

Thats true though. John didn't want Dave to be upset.

John was walking through the roads. He'd found a bigger city, so he was sure he was in Philadelphia. He'd taken a picture of the sign. He had been walking this time. All this had taken him a few days. close to a week.

They were what? A month into Summer maybe?

Which means he had a little over a month until the end .  
He was making amazing timing.

Hitchhiking could have been a faster away. But he knew it was a risky thought.

He sat there in a small cafe in the town. Taking a drink from his water cup and writing a new letter to send to Dave. talking about his adventures in Phili and all the other states.

Each one.

He dropped them off at the post, a smile on his face, for some reason though something was trying to put a damper on his mood.

but he couldn't tell what.

"Well now. You look like you could use a ride. "  
John turned his eyes from the sidewalk into the eyes of a smiling man .

A small black car that he'd noticed looked a little fancy to be in the small town.

"Um.. I -I don't know . But Thank you for the offer"He smiled, trying to be as polite as he could.

"Nah, Come on , hop in"

John didn't know what he was getting himself into when he opened the door to the backseat, and climbed inside.


	19. -Hey Guys Reason for my absence -

Hey Guys. : ( Sorry for not being on for a long time, alot of stuff is happening right now, including the deaths of some of my pets, and alot of drama taking up my time. Within the week i should be posting anywhere from 2-5 new chapters that need finished and edited and then i'll have them up 3 Thanks guys for being so understanding


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